Friday, November 28, 2008

The "other shoe"

Some of the other moms on my online support group were taking about "waiting for the other shoe to drop". Why do all of us mom's (or Dad's) who have kids with arthritis feel that way? We are afraid to let our guard down. Back in 2004 when Jacob started with arthritis I didn't know much about it. I didn't have the Internet to go crazy looking up everything. Was that a good thing? Possibly. Because if the unknown back then I eventually did let my guard down and let this disease leave my head. When his joints went into remission, the only time I gave it a thought was at the 6 month doctor appointments. At the opthamologist and the rheumatolgist we always got things look great. Then we were on an 18mo follow-up with the Rheumatologist I believed it was over! I NEVER gave it any thought during that follow-up period.

The "other shoe dropping" in January of 2008 changed my way of thinking. The shoe fell and fell hard! I feel like I am on my guard again and watch for every little ache, skip, stiffness, and just plain old crankiness with him. I worry more when he is sick that things will flare. I just got the rest of his blood work from the rheumatologist on Wednesday and she assured me it is fine. The C-reactive protein which is an indicator of inflammation came back different this time than the last few months. He had been reading <.1 and now it is 1.2. This can simply be from him being sick and it is still reading very low. But it is change. Getting bloodwork every four weeks we are able to follow his progress thoroughly. We do the blood work on a monthly basis to monitor the side effects of the Methotrexate. This medication is a Godsend, but the side effects can be extremely dangerous if not monitored properly.

So for now, I am trying not to wait for the "other shoe" to drop but I am being on the cautious side. Which I think is reasonable. We have Jacob's appointment with Dr. Foster on Wednesday. When he looks at us and says "all clear" and usually follows it with "congratulations", I will let the shoe rest until January when we see the Rheumatologist, I promise!


Tammy Z said...

Oh! I know that feeling of "waiting for the other shoe to drop"! But let me tell, you, I'm at the point again, we're I'm letting my guard down and allowing myself to feel like we're living a mostly normal life. I think things for Anna flared when puberty hit, and I feel that for now, we've been over the hump for a while, with things settling down instead of flaring. :o)